{"title":"Kitchen (Sass \u0026 Swears)","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"you-assholes-must-be-exhausted-napkins","title":"You Assholes Must Be Exhausted Napkins","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou Assholes Must Be Exhausted from watching me do everything.\u003cbr\u003e\n5\" x 5\" Folded\u003cbr\u003e\n3-ply Cocktail Napkins\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430880436380,"sku":"F240185","price":5.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/59a3e6ba36c83a2831ec5c7ee057dd2f87b9da7b72b35ba1025a7991af2a8802.jpg?v=1760909118"},{"product_id":"mama-needs-a-fucking-nap-relax-the-kids-cant-read-tea-towel","title":"Mama Needs A Fucking Nap (Relax, The Kids Can't Read.) Tea Towel","description":"Indulge in some well-deserved rest with our \"Mama Needs A Fucking Nap\" tea towel – because sometimes parenting calls for a bit of humor!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCrafted from premium materials, this towel combines functionality with a witty message that's sure to resonate with tired parents everywhere.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTreat yourself to a touch of relaxation and grab yours today!","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430881878172,"sku":"96230049","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96230045MamaNeeds_Packaging_1024.jpg?v=1760909122"},{"product_id":"clean-this-shit-up-tea-towel","title":"Clean This Shit Up Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAdd a humorous touch to your kitchen cleanup routine with our \"Clean This Shit Up\" tea towel!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMade from high-quality materials, this towel is as functional as it is funny, perfect for wiping up spills, drying dishes, or just adding a bit of attitude to your kitchen decor.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhether you're tackling a big mess or just need a laugh, this towel is sure to get the job done with style. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e19\" x 25\" \u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e100% Soft \u0026amp; Absorbent Cotton\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eHang Loop on the Back\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430882369692,"sku":"96220029","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96220029CleanThisShit_Packaging_1024.jpg?v=1760909122"},{"product_id":"go-to-hell-tea-towel","title":"Go To Hell Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eSweet on the outside, salty on the inside. Hey, that sounds just like you! \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eOur “Go To Hell” tea towel is your kitchen’s new favorite contradiction: a burst of flowers, hearts, and rainbows wrapped around a not-so-subtle message in bold teal text.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eUse this towel to dry the dishes, line a breadbasket, or just silently scream into it while hosting family dinner. No matter the reason you reach for it, this towel gets the job done. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eThe white cotton background lets the playful illustrations (in pink, brown, yellow, and teal) pop. It’s the sassiest little statement piece you never knew your kitchen needed.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eSoft, absorbent, and made from 100% cotton, it measures 19\" x 25\" and features a built-in hang loop for easy drying or dramatic display.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eSometimes the best way to say it is with a smile and a floral motif. Who knew?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430882467996,"sku":"96220013","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96220013GoToHell_Packaging_1024.jpg?v=1760909122"},{"product_id":"99-that-bitch-1-crazy-tea-towel","title":"99% That Bitch (1% Crazy) Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp\u003eCelebrate your sassiness with our \"99% That Bitch (1% Crazy)\" tea towel!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMade from high-quality materials, this towel features a bold and humorous design that's perfect for those who aren't afraid to show their true colors.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhether you're drying dishes, wiping down countertops, or just hanging it up as a statement piece, this tea towel is sure to bring a smile to your face and let everyone know you're proud to embrace your inner badass!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e19\" x 25\" \u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e100% Soft \u0026amp; Absorbent Cotton\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eHang Loop on the Back\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430882730140,"sku":"96220001","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/9622000199ThatBitch_Packaging_1024.jpg?v=1760909123"},{"product_id":"coffee-helps-but-im-still-a-bitch-coaster","title":"Coffee Helps But I'm Still a Bitch Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eCoffee Helps But I'm Still a Bitch \u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430884139164,"sku":"E240187","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240187.jpg?v=1760909128"},{"product_id":"here-we-fucking-go-again-i-mean-good-morning-tea-towel","title":"Here We Fucking Go Again (I Mean, Good Morning) Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eSome mornings deserve a little profanity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eWhen the rooster crows and your alarm goes off, sometimes “Good morning” just doesn’t cut it. Enter our \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003eHere We Fucking Go Again (I Mean, Good Morning)\u003c\/i\u003e tea towel. It’s a little dose of sarcasm for your countertop that gets it. You’re not angry. You’re just awake.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eThis off-white cotton towel features a bold yellow stripe and a bright sun rising over a very vocal rooster, illustrated in red, pink, light blue, and navy. As it crows into the sky, the real message comes through loud and clear: \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003eHere We Fucking Go Again!\u003c\/i\u003e And to soften the blow (barely), the bottom reads in smaller print, \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003e(I Mean, Good Morning.)\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eDrying dishes or silently warning your housemates not to talk to you yet, this towel handles both with flair. It’s all function and attitude wrapped into one unapologetically honest kitchen accessory. Soft, absorbent, and fully prepared to greet the day on your terms.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430885089436,"sku":"96230046","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96230046HereWeFuckingGo_Packaging_1024.jpg?v=1760909138"},{"product_id":"let-that-shit-go-tea-towel","title":"Let That Shit Go Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAdd a touch of zen to your kitchen with our \"Let That Shit Go\" tea towel!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCrafted from high-quality materials, this towel features a humorous and lighthearted design that's perfect for anyone in need of a little relaxation. Whether you're drying dishes, wiping down countertops, or just hanging it up as a reminder to let go of stress, this tea towel is sure to bring a smile to your face every time you use it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTreat yourself or surprise a friend with this witty and irreverent tea towel today!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e19\" x 25\" \u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003e100% Soft \u0026amp; Absorbent Cotton\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eHang Loop on the Back\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430886301852,"sku":"96220016","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96220016LetThatShitGo_Packaging_1024.jpg?v=1760909139"},{"product_id":"giving-a-shit-napkins","title":"Giving a shit Napkins","description":"\u003cp\u003eGiving a shit doesn't really go with my outfit today.\u003cbr\u003e\n5\" x 5\" Folded\u003cbr\u003e\n3-ply Cocktail Napkins\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430886727836,"sku":"F240045","price":5.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/5c615f2f00aaf051e72eee07608778e781e673fc881d32cf4dcc3e5665230760.jpg?v=1760909140"},{"product_id":"bless-this-shitshow-of-a-home-tea-towel","title":"Bless This Shitshow of a Home Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eEvery “home sweet home” hides a little chaos. And sometimes that chaos is loud, messy, and involves glitter in places glitter should never be. This tea towel says what your farmhouse signs won’t: \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003eBless This Shitshow of a Home.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eDesigned with the charm of vintage cross-stitch but the honesty of a group text rant, it features the phrase stitched across crisp white cotton, surrounded by cheerful red and blue flowers and climbing green vines. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eAt 19\" x 25\", it’s made of soft, absorbent cotton with a built-in hang loop, great for drying dishes, mopping up life’s little disasters, or just hanging there as a warning to guests who dare to expect serenity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003ePerfect for kitchens where takeout menus outnumber utensils and laundry is more of a suggestion than a schedule. Sure, your home may be a bit of a disaster, but it’s a lovable, lived-in one, and this towel gets it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430888038556,"sku":"96230045","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96230045BlessThisShitshow_Packaging_1024.jpg?v=1760909149"},{"product_id":"i-just-baked-you-some-shut-the-fuck-up-cakes-tea-towel","title":"I Just Baked You Some Shut The Fuck Up Cakes Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eForget subtle. This tea towel is frosted, folded, and ready to offend. Politely, of course.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eThe \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003eI Just Baked You Some Shut The Fuck Up Cakes\u003c\/i\u003e tea towel serves up a layered message: equal parts sweetness and simmering hostility. Cupcakes, hearts, and a vintage palette of pink try their best to soften the blow. But let’s be real. The sentiment is loud and clear.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003ePrinted on 100% soft, absorbent cotton, it’s generously sized at 19\" x 25\" and finished with a built-in hang loop, making it just as functional as it is unhinged. Perfect for drying your dishes or trying your patience.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eIn \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003ethis\u003c\/i\u003e kitchen, right here? If you didn’t come for baked goods or brutal honesty, you came to the wrong place.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430888628380,"sku":"96220032","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96220032IJustBakedYouSome_Packaging.jpg?v=1760909150"},{"product_id":"anxiety-all-the-best-bitches-have-it-coaster","title":"Anxiety.  All the best bitches have it.  Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eAnxiety.  All the best bitches have it.  I think.  Don't they? Nevermind.\u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430890430620,"sku":"E240043","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240043.jpg?v=1760909168"},{"product_id":"you-assholes-must-be-exhausted-coaster","title":"You Assholes Must Be Exhausted Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou Assholes Must Be Exhausted from watching me do everything.\u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430890627228,"sku":"E240185","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240185.jpg?v=1760909161"},{"product_id":"i-googled-my-symptoms-coaster","title":"I Googled my symptoms Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eI Googled my symptoms and it turns out I'm just a bitch.\u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430891184284,"sku":"E000130","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E000130.jpg?v=1760909165"},{"product_id":"anxiety-all-the-best-bitches-have-it-i-think-dont-they-nevermind-tea-towel","title":"Anxiety - All The Best Bitches Have It.  I think.  Don't They?  Nevermind. Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\" style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; color: #181818; background: white; mso-highlight: white;\"\u003eSpiraling, but make it stylish. This lavender tea towel doesn’t just dress up your kitchen, it says out loud what your inner monologue has been muttering all along: “Anxiety. All The Best Bitches Have It. I Think. Don’t They? Nevermind.” Surrounded by delicate white and red flowers with soft pink and gray leaves, it strikes that perfect balance of pretty and panic-y. It’s the kind of accessory that feels like a wink to every overthinker who’s ever questioned a text three times before hitting send.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\" style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; color: #181818; background: white; mso-highlight: white;\"\u003eMeasuring 19\" x 25\", it’s made from 100% soft, absorbent cotton, so it’s not just decorative, it actually works. Use it to dry dishes, wipe up spills, or rescue your counter from the iced coffee you knocked over while second-guessing everything. The built-in hang loop means you can keep it front and center, because honesty this relatable deserves to be seen.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\" style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; color: #181818; background: white; mso-highlight: white;\"\u003eIt’s funny, it’s a little too real, and it’s guaranteed to get a knowing laugh from anyone who spots it. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430891282588,"sku":"96230055","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96230055.jpg?v=1760909166"},{"product_id":"if-i-was-a-bird-i-know-who-id-shit-on-napkins","title":"If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on. Napkins","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on. \u003cbr\u003e\n5\" x 5\" Folded\u003cbr\u003e\n3-ply Cocktail Napkins\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430891839644,"sku":"F240168","price":5.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/736a909a2ab4788d06f22d2912141cd85d788d7fabec170380d2c644bdcea05c.jpg?v=1760909171"},{"product_id":"giving-a-fuck-doesnt-really-go-with-my-outfit-today-tea-towel","title":"Giving A Fuck Doesn't Really Go With My Outfit Today Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\" style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; color: #181818; background: white; mso-highlight: white;\"\u003eSome days you dress to impress. Other days, you dress to not give a single damn and this towel gets it. Printed on pink gingham, it features a retro 1950s-style woman in an apron with navy and hot pink accents, plus bold text that declares: \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003e“Giving A Fuck Doesn’t Really Go With My Outfit Today.”\u003c\/i\u003e Consider it your kitchen’s official not-so-welcome sign.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\" style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; color: #181818; background: white; mso-highlight: white;\"\u003eAt 19\" x 25\", it’s made from 100% soft, absorbent cotton, so it’s ready for drying dishes, wiping spills, or hanging prominently as a fair warning to anyone bold enough to ask what’s for dinner. The built-in hang loop makes it easy to keep on display, where it belongs.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\" style=\"font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 115%; color: #181818; background: white; mso-highlight: white;\"\u003eIt’s cheeky, practical, and guaranteed to make your kitchen just a little less wholesome.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430892396700,"sku":"96230058","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96230058.jpg?v=1760909174"},{"product_id":"cheers-bitches-coaster","title":"Cheers Bitches Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eCheers Bitches \u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430892691612,"sku":"E240030","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240030.jpg?v=1760909175"},{"product_id":"abracadabra-nope-im-still-a-bitch-coaster","title":"Abracadabra, nope I'm still a bitch. Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eAbracadabra, nope I'm still a bitch. \u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430893019292,"sku":"E000135","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E000135.jpg?v=1760909177"},{"product_id":"i-dont-have-an-attitude-problem-you-fucking-bitch-tea-towel","title":"I Don't Have An Attitude Problem You Fucking Bitch Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eLet’s be clear. This towel isn’t here to make peace. It’s here to make a statement.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eThe \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003eI Don't Have An Attitude Problem You Fucking Bitch\u003c\/i\u003e tea towel doesn’t pull punches. It’s loud. It’s unapologetic. And it’s definitely not waiting for anyone’s approval. If you're the kind of person who says what everyone else is thinking but is too afraid to do so, this one’s for you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eSaturated in deep blue with brash white lettering, it’s surrounded by a riot of red, pink, yellow, and blue blooms that are charming and a little chaotic. Made from 100% soft, absorbent cotton, it measures a full 19\" x 25\" and includes a hang loop so you can keep it ready. Attitude this bold deserves easy access.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eUse it to dry dishes, clean up messes, or remind your kitchen who actually runs the show. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430893478044,"sku":"96220037","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96220037IDon_tHaveAnAttitude_Packaging.jpg?v=1760909177"},{"product_id":"im-not-a-regular-bitch-im-a-classy-bitch-coaster","title":"I'm Not A Regular Bitch, I'm A Classy Bitch Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eI'm Not A Regular Bitch, I'm A Classy Bitch \u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430894657692,"sku":"E240188","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240188.jpg?v=1760909182"},{"product_id":"dont-make-mommy-be-a-bitch-coaster","title":"Don't make mommy be a bitch. Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eDon't make mommy be a bitch. \u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430894788764,"sku":"E240072","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240072.jpg?v=1760909183"},{"product_id":"yes-i-have-kids-coaster","title":"Yes, I have kids. Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eYes, I have kids.  No, they don't know half the shit I used to do.\u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430895247516,"sku":"E240063","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240063.jpg?v=1760909186"},{"product_id":"over-the-hill-and-halfway-to-hell-coaster","title":"Over the hill and halfway to hell. 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It also delivers the kind of blunt truth that pairs best with a strong drink and a weak filter.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eFeaturing a vintage-style winking woman, a flurry of cheerful yellow polka dots, and a deep green stripe along the bottom, it says what you’re \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003ereally\u003c\/i\u003e thinking: \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003e“I’m not always a bitch. Just kidding. Go fuck yourself.”\u003c\/i\u003e This towel pulls double duty, actually absorbing stuff (thanks to its soft 100% cotton fabric) while also warning others to tread lightly.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eAt 19\" x 25\", it’s big enough to handle messes and bold enough to steal the spotlight. Hang loop included for easy display because if you’re going to have an attitude, you might as well make it known!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430897574044,"sku":"96220033","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96220033NotAlwaysABitch_Packaging.jpg?v=1760909193"},{"product_id":"my-toddler-wont-wear-a-shoe-napkins","title":"My toddler won't wear a shoe Napkins","description":"\u003cp\u003eMy toddler won't wear a shoe with a tiny grain of sand in it, but they'll walk around with shit in their pants.\u003cbr\u003e\n5\" x 5\" Folded\u003cbr\u003e\n3-ply Cocktail Napkins\u003cbr\u003e\n5\" x 5\" Folded\u003cbr\u003e\n3-ply Cocktail Napkins\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430897705116,"sku":"F240214","price":5.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/eb52c32bb91753ca954c2204a85c50d330202a4712da079f303bc97bf7ff9688.jpg?v=1760909193"},{"product_id":"giving-a-shit-coaster","title":"Giving a shit Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eGiving a shit doesn't really go with my outfit today.\u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430898131100,"sku":"E240045","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240045.jpg?v=1760909194"},{"product_id":"what-doesnt-kill-you-fucks-you-up-mentally-coaster","title":"What doesn't kill you fucks you up mentally. Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat doesn't kill you fucks you up mentally. \u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430898393244,"sku":"E240170","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240170.jpg?v=1760909195"},{"product_id":"its-tea-time-mother-fucker-tea-towel","title":"It's Tea Time Mother Fucker Tea Towel","description":"Elevate your tea time experience with our \"It's Tea Time Mother Fucker\" tea towel!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMade from high-quality materials, this towel blends functionality with a bold statement that adds a humorous twist to your kitchen decor.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhether you're a tea enthusiast or simply appreciate a good laugh, this towel is a must-have addition to your collection.","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430899703964,"sku":"96230048","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96230048It_sTeaTimeMF_Packaging_1024.jpg?v=1760909199"},{"product_id":"dont-tell-my-boss-what-an-asshole-he-is-coaster","title":"Don't tell my boss what an asshole he is. Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eDon't tell my boss what an asshole he is. \u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430899933340,"sku":"E240071","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240071.jpg?v=1760909200"},{"product_id":"live-laugh-fuck-off-tea-towel","title":"Live, Laugh, Fuck Off Tea Towel","description":"\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eSometimes \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003eLive, Laugh, Love\u003c\/i\u003e just doesn’t apply.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eThis tea towel doesn’t whisper gentle affirmations. It shouts the kind of sentiment you \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003ereally\u003c\/i\u003e want framed above your sink. In a world full of fake positivity and aggressively cheerful home décor, \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003eLive, Laugh, Fuck Off\u003c\/i\u003e is the battle cry of anyone who’s had it with toxic niceness, unsolicited advice, or surprise guests who “just popped by.”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eSure, it looks sweet and well-behaved. The soft blue cotton, the whimsical floral border—it’s giving “farmer’s market chic.” But read the text, and you’ll see it for what it really is: a no-nonsense, straight-shooting message for \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003eyour\u003c\/i\u003e home. You know where \u003ci style=\"mso-bidi-font-style: normal;\"\u003ereal\u003c\/i\u003e people live.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin: 12.0pt 0in 12.0pt 0in;\"\u003e\u003cspan lang=\"EN\"\u003eMade from 100% soft, absorbent cotton and measuring 19\" x 25\", it includes a handy hang loop on the back so you can dry it easily. Or, hang it where your in-laws are sure to notice. Great for wiping down counters, drying dishes, or just adding the right vibe to your kitchen with a little less sugar and a lot more salt.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430901571740,"sku":"96230047","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/96230045Live_Laugh_Packaging_1024.jpg?v=1760909208"},{"product_id":"if-i-was-a-bird-i-know-who-id-shit-on-coaster","title":"If I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on. Coaster","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf I was a bird, I know who I'd shit on. \u003cbr\u003e\n4\" x 4\" x .25\" Absorbent Stone Coaster\u003cbr\u003e\nCork Backed\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Funatic","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45430901637276,"sku":"E240168","price":5.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/files\/E240168.jpg?v=1760909208"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0679\/6935\/1836\/collections\/swears_and_sass_image_forWeb.jpg?v=1774899318","url":"https:\/\/smallboxmarket.com\/collections\/kitchen-sass-swears.oembed","provider":"Small Box Market","version":"1.0","type":"link"}