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Always a bridesmaid, never a sober one. Napkins
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Nurses can't fix stupid but they can sedate it Napkins
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Of all the terrible ways to be woken up Napkins
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Losing my mind one kid at a time. Napkins
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I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter. Napkins
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If you have to ask if it's too early to drink Napkins
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Hello! How May I Offend You Today? Napkins
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I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. Napkins
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I wish everything was as easy as getting fat. Napkins
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I wish I was the person I believed I could be Napkins
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I'm not drunk, I'm just talking in cursive. Napkins
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Don't make me talk about you at therapy. Napkins
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Sold outI Googled my symptoms Napkins
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If my cat could talk, I'd never leave home. Napkins
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An apple a day keeps anyone away... Napkins
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The man who invented spell check died today. Napkins
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I Told a teenager I used to get 10 CDs for a penny. Napkins
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Sold outI can't be responsible Napkins
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The brownies I started making Napkins
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I just want to drink wine and annoy my kids. Napkins
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Sold outBefore You Marry Someone Napkins
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Sold outMaybe swearing will help Napkins
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Sold outShut up liver, you're fine. Napkins
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Sold outDinner is poured. Napkins
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Whoever said "out of sight out of mind " Napkins
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Put my face on bottles of wine Napkins
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Friday is my second favorite F word. Napkins
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I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong. Napkins
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